Benson going to be 11 Months soon....

Benson almost hit 11 Months soon... time flys... newborn till now.... alot of changes & alot of surpise... Which i feel so blessed... Even now Freedom is taken away.. but the most important is.. we gain happiness & laughter in this little family of ours... Alot of things have been running in my mind.. like all the housework... & messy stuff putting all over the house.. i feel i'm a bad housewife.. haha.. Because now i need to attend to Benson most of the time.. so it make me no choice but to put down all my housework & play with him... & even preparing his lunch can be a challenage at times when he make noisy while i do the cooking... haha... This 2 Days when Hubby return to work.. i have been not taking any breakfast or lunch.. till evening then i had my first meal of the day.. i didn't know why i don't really feel hungry during the day.. maybe there is so much stuff for me to do.. which i rather give up my meal time to keep my work going... well.. i gotta change to a better lifestyle again.. i can't be always missing my meals... if not my gastric will come knocking at my door again... Lately there is alot of renovation work going on around here.. so our house is super dusty now... even i wiped.. till evening the dust gather again... i will need to change Benson cot bedsheet tomorrow.. because he got sensetive nose.. so whenever the place is dusty.. he will keep rubbing his nose... till he got so upset & cry...

Things got really tensed up between me & my sister.. as hurtful words was exchange indirectly... but hopefully things will get better soon.. overall.. blood is always thicker than water.. no matter what.. even i piss off.. is only for a while.. but i just cannot believe that some words in the fit of anger can be so hurtful after i read her blog... but anyway.. if she mean it.. i got nothing to say.. because we have the right to choose what we want in life... & sometime i feel that some things i don't wanna say too direct is because i care about her feelings... but i don't feel the same way round... As for her taking care of Benson at the most tough time for me before i moved in that time.. is because i need to buy all the home stuff & meeting ID for renovation.. that is when i needed help from the most trusted person... but seem like i should just keep it to myself & depend on myself.. because i didnt know that there will be complains after such a small thing happen... now then i know that the most trusted person is still myself... To be honest.. i'm upset & disppointed about all this things happening.. but i gotta be strong now than before.. Because now i'm on my own... How i wish that Benson is 18 Months now.. so i can put him to childcare without any help of asking granny to take care of Him on weekdays when i got appointment customer coming... Is not that i really wanted Benson to be in school.. i love spending time with him too.. but i got no other choice now... I need to earn some living for myself too.. Even i know that Hubby will give me money every month.. but i just wanna help whenever i can... i trust that i will heal from all the hurtful remark...

" God allows us to experience the low points in life in order to teach us a lesson we could not learn in any other way . The way we learn those lesson is not to deny the feeling but to find the meanings underlying them "