I was never good enough..

I feel that I was never good enough to be a mother or Benson's mummy.. Lately he keep fussing might be due to teething or bad temper.. I was never Patience with him.. I'm really having a deep thts of what's happening for the past week & today.. He would just cry non stop.. Even tht I went out without him & crying at kitchen door when I was in toliet which he didn't know.. I became so pissed off that I smack him on his thigh.. I start to blame myself that I shouldn't have done that .. I should have given him a hug & explain that I'm in toliet.. ;( why m I behaving this way? & when did all this unacceptable anger in me started?! I have make a promised to myself that I will be Patience with Benson & show that I really care & love him.. I want him to be happy.. Not a fussing & crying baby everyday.. I must make myself to understand that he is going thru a very tough stage now.. Teething can be very painful... Sigh... I really regretted not being there for him when he needed me... I love u Benson... I really do.. & I hope u don't hate mummy.. Because it will breaks my heart..

Lonely Week....

Hubby have been super busy lately at work... Will go off early to work & late home due to moving of office... =.=" Have been feeling super lonely... Due to dinner & Weekend is only me & Benson.. SO noy used to it.... But Yesterday ( Sunday ) finally have a Little Ling's  Family dinner.... Meet Hubby at Vivo marche for dinner... =) Benson now don't like to sit on highchair le... Wanna act like us... sit on normal chairs... Was quite scary... Because scare he will fall side or backwards.... Quite stress meal... LOL... Then Go buy burning Paper before heading home as Yesterday is Last Day of 7th Month.... Yeah ! Took Cab home.. The Q was so long.. Decided to On Call.... Because Hubby is super tired after a long day... In Cab... Benson got this habit of not wanting me to hold him... & he move around & STAND in cab... Which is super Danger... & I don't allow that... So angry...! Scolded him.... Then reached home liao... Finally a rest day for us... & did a scrub on Hubby back for relaxing.... =) Hopefully this week he will have less work & more time for us.... I hope so....

Don't wanna 报喜不报忧........

I don't know why lately I getting so easily upset... I'm also quite angry with Benson not taking his meal.. Maybe because I spend so much effort cooking for him.. & yet he don't wanna eat... ;( makes me wanna tear at times... I know I'm getting a little emotion right now.. This is a tough week for hub & me.. Because his office is moving & he is working from morning till night.. Weekend working too.. No family day.. I'm not used to it to eat dinner alone with Benson... Feels empty inside & something is missing... =( I hated this week.. Benson is having his teething sign again.. Gum pain! Might be the reason of him not eating... He having this bad habit of fussing when I'm around too.. With anyone else or hub he is ok.. No fussing , or throw bad temper... Is it because I'm too softhearted? Or easily bully? I did scold & piak at times when he gets really naughty.. But nothing works to change! At times I feel that I'm such a failed mother.. Because I cannot even handle my own kids... The kitchen drama is happening every single day.. & everyday he is crying & fussing.. I don't know what to do... I know I shouldn't have blog all this unhappiness & complain moments in my blog... But I don't wanna hide my feelings too...

~ Benson's Big 18 months old ~

Benson turn 18 months old yesterday... =) finally 1.5 years old... Now he is drinking 240ml .. But at times some milk is wasted.. But so far so good... Solid not alot.. I don't know why.. Might be gum painful.. Still having 8 tooth.. Haha.. The rest seems long... Still love fruits but lately keep bite & split out.. =.= love playground.. Knows how to make music of " abc , tinker tinker little star " =) cheek still Like hamburger... Nick " stinky head, hamburger, big tummy " hahaha... Love to dance.. Now still trying to pick up words... Everyday will be at window there " pa pa pa " think because he knows daddy is working & will come home soon... Keep wanting to go kitchen & open fridge " which I dislike " ... Love to See me cook.. Hopefully he will be a good cook next time.. Ha! Nap once a day.. Sleeping time abt 10pm.. But weekend timing not same.. Think because he knows daddy is at home.. =)  So much changes in Benson la =) at times I missed the time when he is newborn!!

Flu Bug........

Flu Bug pls go away... If not i cannot kiss my naughty Benson... LOL... Wanna sayang & kiss him... But keep reminding myself cannot... Because scare germ spread to him.... Have been taking new medicine... Hope it helps... Every morning woke up i feel so shag... throat super dry & pain... With lots of Phelgm... Thick & Sticky... Yucks.... Body have been really bad lately... Pain here & there then now Flu... Zzz... I hated this feeling... Benson still same same... Keep wanting to open the fridge... Zzz.... Then i just hack care his temper... It stop after a while of fussing & crying... phew... Took nap with Benson today too... Was super sleepy after the medicine... Today Benson didn't really eat his lunch & dinner... don't know is he bored or gum pain... =.= At times he makes me feel that i'm a bad cook... =( So sad la... Hope he eat more soon...

Oh ya.. & Eelynn intro me a Vitamn C... I hope it works for me... =) Tasted real good.. Yum...

A Touching Story....

This is a Very touching story that i wished to share to everyone... I hope u guys won't tear after this... LOL...

In the video, a teenage daughter wishes she had a normal father, instead of  her deaf-mute father.

Her schoolmates tease her for having a deaf-mute father, and she gets into fights at school because of that.

On her birthday, while her father waits with a birthday cake and a message for her, she slits her wrists.

He brings her to the hospital where he offers everything from his savings to his house to the doctors to save his daughter.

In the end, his daughter wakes up to see her father lying in a bed next to her, having donated his blood for the blood transfusion.

( Note is a Thai Insurance Commercial )

Here is the Link... Pls watch....

&

Wanna to Share " Tori & Dean Sweet Hollywood " .... Everytime i see this show.. I always remind myself.. No matter How Bad Life is.... We Must always Be in Love with each other everyday.... 父母懂得爱, 孩子才有未来..

Below is the link... Sorry for not posting all the video out... Because i have trouble putting up video in blogger... Arr... Even my lovely Benson video also cannot upload....

Tori & Dean Sweet Hollywood

Relaxing Sunday...

Today was a relaxing Sunday... I'm still having slight flu.. Actually not really flu lei.. Don't know how to tell u.. But just feel a but blocked nose.. Might be sinus.. But still I eaten flu medicine just in case.. Lol.. But 5 days le.. Still same.. Hopefully it goes away.. Today Benson finally nap at the time when be suppose to nap.. Woke up & time to head out for swim at Sengkang CC.. was super relaxing soaking in the pool.. But water is slightly cold due to the hot weather makes our body warm.. Then after swim we went to mum place for dinner.. Granny is cooking prawn noodle.. Yum yum... ! I missed the days when there's always food in the house.. As I'm a lazy person.. =X lol then head home.. Because Benson start saying bye bye to everyone in the house.. Lol think he is really tired.. I'm tired too.. But zzz.. Now nearly 12am he Is not asleep yet.. I'm still waiting.. But anyway.. Hub Frenz drop by to pass invitation to us for his wedding which falls on my birthday.. Lol..

Streamboat Saturday!!

Florence have invited us & a few mummies Frenz to have steamboat at her house on saturday night =) oh I love gathering with them.. & Benson playdate with Belle, kyan, kayla & Alena... Long long time never meet up with Kim.. =) glad that she came to join us too... Catch up
While having steamboat & kids running around & snatching toys.. Crying, laugh, fussing.. Crazy night.. But enjoyed myself.. With family & Frenz at the same time.. Best of both world... Hehe.. Greedy me... But sadly to say that Hubby missed his football match =( sayang hubby... Benson is super tired Liao when he reached home.. Lately I have trouble having my sleep at night.. Even after my flu medicine... Hmm... I don't know what happen... I jeep tossing & turning around.. Can't seem to get deep sleep even with my flu drowsy medicine.. But luckily Hubby offer to help me in the morning on weekends so I can catch up with my sleep.. I'm really thankful... I know Hubby have Been super tired lately too due to busy moving office..