My worst fear...

In my life .. My worst fear is having to know that my Daddy health got worst.. Think most of the people around the world have the same fear as me.. Yesterday went mummy place.. My mum spoke to me about my daddy health.. He is stopping his doctor appointment already.. Reason is.. Doctor said that his heartbeat Is getting slower & slower already.. & His health consition is not suitable to have a heart opt.. & my dad also aware that his heart getting weaker than before.. & his kidney is failing too... Which is a very bad sign.. I really hope the day won't come so soon.. I really hope god hear my prayers.. I wanna spend more time laughing & joking with him.. I wanna to do lots of things with him too.. Alot of country he haven been before.. A lots of things he never see before.. I regret not working & saving up money to bring them around the world.. I'm such a loser.. What I can do now is to go back mum place more often.. Ask them out for dinner & bring them around..

A lot of question came inside my head...If one day ( touch wood ).. My Dad left us... Will i be able to pick myself up again? Will i be able to take good care of Benson when i'm on the saddest day of my life?  Will i move on.. or just cry my days away? I really don't know.. & I cannot find an answer to those question...  Whenever i think of it... my heart crys... & tears rolling in my eyes...