I'm losing It

Warning! : Is a ranting & negative post , If u are not ready, pls DO NOT read

 

 

 

"世界上没有教不会的孩子，只有不会教孩子的妈妈。感觉我就是那个不会教孩子的妈 " 

That's what i wrote in my facebook status yesterday.. Because lately i really losing patience with Benson Naughtiness.. sometime i just feel so pek cek & tired... Maybe i just need a break or just rant it in here.. Yes! This is the only space which can let me write my emotional feeling down.. without screaming or shouting at anyone.. & of course i used to had this feeling of depress when Benson is 1 years old plus.. but we grew out of it.. now this feeling came again.. I really hope i m not losing it this time.. I want to be a perfect mum ( i know there is none in this world ) but at least i wanna be one for Benson... Benson had been giving me a hard time lately.. maybe he is bored at home.. maybe due to his flu & cough .. Maybe due to my hormone.. well.. i don't know.. & i wish i knew where the problem lies... Is it because of my parenting style is not working wonders? or is it because i mind too much about how Benson behave? Is it because i scare of strangers stare when Benson cry/fuss outside? or is it my expectation is too high on my poor boy? Where did my patience go? Sometime i even feel like crying my heart out while i'm doing dishes, But tears just surround in my eyes.