Strength Is all I need

God give me strength to make it through this day. God give me strength to find another way. God give me strength to see what need be done. God give me strength to see my only one. God give me strength to fix what needs to be. God give me strength so I may clearly see. God give me strength and lead me on my way. God give me strength for I need it more each day.

 

It has been a really tough week.. Benson is down with flu & cough.. Cranky, whines alot.. & even threw tantrum, When scolded he will point his fingers to the door asking me to get away or get out.. Yes.. Is hurtful to me.. But I know that he didn't mean it & he doesn't understand what he just did.. Is a tiring week.. mentally.. At times when i get really angry.. Instead of smacking him I will leave him at one corner in the living room & i walk away to cool down.. i really don't like smacking him.. But sometime i really had no choice.. He demands me to stand up, sit down, or move here & there... which I really dislike this! Whatever I do is not to his liking.. He will just snap & throw tantrum again.. I did try using explaining, soft talk.. It all doesn't work.. Till the most last % of patience i had with him.. Sometime I even wonder.. Is it because my parenting skill sucks? Am i really that bad? Well.. I didn't know & i know i will never get an answer for that.... No one say that parenting is easy task.. But I do try to give my best.. I'm not perfect in any ways.. i'm human.. I have my bad times.. I had good times too.. I hope this rough path will be over soon.. Just needed some space to rant.. & the only place i could think of without using my voice to shout at anyone.. without showing my temper.. Is to use my fingers to type with this keyboard.. writing every bit & pieces in here...